Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Bad Parenting 101

This morning, I had the opportunity to shine as a mommy, and I blew it. If you have been reading my blog, you know that my Libby is careful, serious and follows all the rules. My Joanna, is not as fond of the rules. She is constantly looking for ways to get around them and is much more wild than Libby ever was.

So this morning, I was talking to Joanna and she told me a little boy in her class had a girlfriend. I asked who his girlfriend was (no, we haven't hit the bad parenting yet). she told me and then said she wanted a boyfriend (hold on to your seats, here is where the bad parenting starts). I told her no. She could not have a boyfriend. I have to admit, I panicked. Why else would a grown woman who firmly believes abstinence-only education doesn't work, resort to telling her five year old that she could not have a boyfriend. I then asked why she wanted a boyfriend. She told me she wanted to kiss him. At this point, my panic hit full tilt. I woke up my husband so he too could tell Joanna she could not have a boyfriend to kiss. Of course, this meant I violated another good parenting rule by telling someone else what she told me. When this happened, all my good parenting rules went right out of my head and the one driving force was, "No, my 5-year old can not kiss a boy."

I know there are parents who figure it is cute and that they are too young and it doesn't mean anything, but I look at it as experimentation. I would rather have my kids experimenting with boyfriends when they are older (much, much older, maybe 25). Besides, the little boy she has her eye on can't write yet, how is he going to complete On the Verge's boyfriend application.

If anyone has any suggestions on where I can go from here (or any ways to save the situation), I would be very grateful. Also, looking for any suggestions to drive away the boys.

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11 comments:

On The Verge said...

I am having the same problem...minus the kissing at this point. My five year old thinks she needs a boyfriend too! I just keep telling her being friends is enough. If you figure this one out, let me know. I am in the same boat.

Drop by my blog. I gave you two awards!

Kelly said...

i would go with the whole "boys are mean" approach. they pull hair and poke fun. they have cooties, too. "you don't want to catch cooties, do you?".

unfortunately i don't have any real advice. but i will say that i feel your pain. and panic!

Signe said...

Luckily, my dd has liked boys, but that's as far as it's gone. We've tried to instill good standards, and it seems to be working (smart, nice, cute)...none fit the profile at this point :D

Elizabeth Channel said...

I think it is the age. My now 8-year-old boy had a little girl in his Pre-K and Kindy classes who wanted him to be her boyfriend. He sort of half-heartedly agreed and they sat next to each other occasionally and did hold hands at a field trip. The mother and I were friendly and did talk about all this. And then once first grade hit, he thought she was smelly and gross and that was the end of it. Not sure that makes you feel any better right now, but perhaps it is a stage?

piece of me said...

I don't have any suggestions I just wanted to wish you Good Luck. I dread the day when I have to talk about boys.

Allison said...

My dd is 8 and likes boys, but more as playmates. She does not like to do what girls do like walk around and talk. She loves to play kick ball, soccer, and football.

She had interest in boys in kinder, but it has fizzeled. Thank goodness no interest in kissing has come up. I will have the birds and bees talk before hitting middle school for sure, because when I taught I saw some surprising things coming from kids so young! Heck I was 16 when I had my first kiss... I was a late bloomer compared to most people!

Giazz said...

Wow, look what I have to look forward to with my 4 year old son! Yikes...he did have a lot of girls in his class last year (pre-school) that liked him as well. I'm going to have to try to keep it at bay, but will see how he handles the girls.

Bingkee said...

I'm not a parent yet but I have some experiences with children through my experience working as a nanny. Come and visit my blog and you'll see 2 posts there that are about child discipline...entitled, "World's Scariest Kids" and "I'm Sending You to the Philippines."

Bridget said...

cooties cooties cooties. LOL! What a funny story, you are a great writer!

Christine said...

Your's sound like both of my girls...absolutely boy crazy from day one. My youngest has almost always had a "boyfriend", but we put down a few rules, that way we both get what we want. She knows there is a no kissing rule until junior high, and then it is on the cheek only, and she is allowed to hands then. We just decided if we say no to everything she might shut down and do what she wants without confiding in us. I figured if I can talk her through things, then at least she still confides in me every detail. Good Luck, it is difficult parenting two girls

Wendy said...

Wait until she is SEVEN and announces, "Mom, I'm not going to be a wild teenager and drink beer and have sex. I'm going to wait until I'm at least 20. Or really in love."

Getting her to tell me what "sex" means was a different matter. All she seems to know is, "if you do sex in your bed with another man while daddy is at work, he'll come home and catch you and divorce you."

I'm trying to remember I learned about sex when I was 7 (and stay calm-her Daddy wants to burn down the school). I thought it had something to do with the belly button.